Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tales from the Dating Site...A Fashion Bug Excursion

So...things have been all quiet on the dating front, at least from my dating site profile. Well, truth be told, it is because someone reported my account and it got flagged and deleted. :)

I actually thought I should get some award from potentially offending some fucktard who got his panties in a twist, but, no such luck.

So I created a new one - I am not one to give up that easily....

Today, I receive a message from a gal, Caroline, is her name. (Note: My commentary about the situation will be in parenthesis)

C: ur pritty

L: Thank you very much!

C: yer welcome i got a quick q,, would you like to meet for lunch? im lookin for regular friends 2,, do you do anything like lite makin out with out your bf? Caroline

(ok, so apparently we are on a phone using text-talk or we are just stupid)

C: yer lips r amazing wow

(She must be pulling out all the big guns now, I have never had ANYONE tell me "YER LIPS R" this bucket list item gets crossed off the list)

L: Um, sure I am always open to meeting new people and lunch.

(Which is true, new people are new experiences and I am open to trying new things. Sure, lunch would just be an hour of my day sometime...ok fine)

C: ok and would you be into pickin me up,,im in greenfield 25 min from Indpls,,? where would you like to go? or we could get a sandwhich then go to a park n chat.. i get bored here at the house,,lol so if i gave you a kiss would you mind that? jus wondering? lol C ; :)

(Picking you up? UM, excuse me??? What is this, the mooch-a-date site? In Greenfield? LMAO Riiiiiiiiight! Get a "sandwhich" and go to the park, huh? Wow I am missing out here....well, and especially, I am missing out on the cave-dweller who apparently wants to kiss me....)

(Now I must say that I did not respond to that. What do you say to that????? To her credit, she was quite brave and bold to throw herself and ideas out there...she is clearly lonely, and I know myself, and most people have struggled with lonliness at least one point in their life....however, then I get this....)

C: Lisa,, ru free today to do lunch? theres a nice culvers off nine,, or we could go to the fashion bug tolook around,, srry i wouldnt make a move on you,, id respect u,, but a regular hug be nice~ C do you give your # out?


So this was where the conversation essentially ended. Again, what do you say to a Fashion Bug rendevous????? She was clearly lonely today, looking to have someone come have a sandwhich and go to Fashion Bug with her. I must say, had I not been in Lafayette for work, it was almost tempting to go...It is always nice when the potential creepy person tells you right off the bat that they wouldn't make a move on you, and that they would respect you....

Of COURSE, she almost "had me at hello" with the Culvers thing, I am a sucker for ice cream. And what better way to spend an afternoon than with a cave-dwelling sandwhich lover offering to buy me some Culvers (if I drive 25 min to pick her up) and walk around FASHION BUG?!?!?!?!?!?

I just HAD to draw the line though, when she asked if I gave my number out. HUMPF! IF she knew me at ALL, she would know that I HATE talking on the phone and never pick up when people call, ever. If it is that important the person will leave me a message.

SO, amidst all the anticipation of getting a date, I had to shut it down. Or rather, I just didn't reply. I am hoping the non-reply method of rejection will be less painful and she can boldly move on to the next girl she can say "ur pritty" too.

Yes, world...I am still single...


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Untitled - November 22, 1994

There is a story of passion foretold,
An eerie tale which never gets old.
It's been told before, again and again
But I might as well tell you, so let's begin.
This man is strong, he shows no fear
He has no feelings, he sheds no tears.
I saw him once, and once was enough.
The bad thing is that I loved him much.
He saw me at night for he couldn't see day
I often wondered why he could not stay.
His face is pale. His eyes like fire.
He feels no pain, I often inquire.
His teeth like daggars, his lips like blood
Dripping off from an endless flood.
He's charming and beautiful, an angel you'd think.
I too, felt the same until he took his first drink.
There was no pain or fear, he took it all away.
He left no marks because I could not pay.
He will come back and claim his prize.
This is when I become his bride.
But I will be soon and my darling will wait,
Standing like an angel at a hellish gate
To spend forever, I love you so.
With that bite he claimed me, he never let go.
Now the wind is cold and the lights are dim,
And I find myself becoming one of them.
My mind surpasses, my teeth get sharp,
My voice is cold like a knife in the dark.
I get scared sometimes but he says it's ok
He'll be there for me, now he can stay.
My lips are like blood, my eyes now like fire
But this is what I get for loving a vampire.

Love has no boundaries, my mother once said.
I never really though I would love the dead.
She always thought I would find a man
To love me more than my vampire can.
He's in my mind and in my dreams
And forever in my thoughts it seems.
He can't go away and I don't want him to.
But the day will come when he sets out to do
Everything he planned for his life
This was all before I became his wife.
He wants to fill his soul with youth
A child's blood, he says, the only fruit
To quench his thirst, to forever live.
He borrowed my soul, what else can I give?
For I will do anything for you my pet.
I promised you this on the day we met.
I knew deep down that I wanted you so.
I was patient and taught you to let go
Of all the hate and the pain inside,
Given to you by your other bride.
I want to help you. I'll take care of it all
Have faith in me, I won't let you fall.
I'll be there for you, I will stay forever,
Or as long as you want me, I will never
Leave your side, or hurt your soul
I will love you and be faithful
Until the day when I die.
You will come and hear the cries.
Standing on a hillside not too near,
You can't get close or they'll see your tears. cried because you lost,
The only woman who paid your costs.

So now you'll go on to spend forever alone.
Sitting by yourself on a golden throne.
I love you darling, I hope you'll forgive
Me for needing you, and the life I lived.
I wanted to be immortal, and spend eternity
With the only man who could set me free
From all my pain and my strife.
You...who could give me everlasting life.
Just one more bite and I would have been whole
I'd feel the pain go away as blood cleansed my soul.
So now I am an angel, watching over you.
Watching your life and the things you do.
I sit on a cloud, in all my glory
Singing my song and telling my story
About a girl and a man, with eyes like fire
And how she came to love a notorious vampire...

~November 22, 1994


Friday, July 23, 2010

The Joy of Smell - and lobster bisque

So…the human sense of smell is a wonderful thing. Scent can affect moods, taste, feelings, etc.

What I find to be most interesting is how deceiving the sense of smell is. Ever been to the Canterbury Hotel in downtown Indianapolis??? Beautiful place. Gorgeous old hotel, old decorations, marble, wallpaper that appears to be from the turn of the century…there is a charm there. They have a restaurant that has changed its name so many times I am not exactly sure of the name of it now, however the menu thankfully hasn’t changed. If you are ever in the mood for orgasmic lobster bisque, THIS is the place you want to go. The lobster bisque is around $6-$8 for a bowl, and while you may think it to be expensive, it is the cheapest orgasm I have ever paid for.

the point is, the bar/restaurant area has the old heavy woodwork, dim, mood lighting surrounding the local artist paintings that hang on the walls of the restaurant…it is a pleasure to dine at the Canterbury even if you don’t get the opportunity to stay there.

The restaurant in the Canterbury has restrooms located off the entrance, and they do not disappoint either, in appearance. You walk into a single door, and down a dimly lit hallway with the dark, crown molding and antique wallpaper, descending upon your door of choice to relieve yourself. Of course, I have never been into the men’s restroom, but I have to say, when you walk into the woman’s, that is where the charm stops, as soon as you breathe. For some inexplicable reason, this restroom is warm and smells like the dirty, bottom-feeding part of a sewer. Which is SO mind-boggling to me because this restroom continues along the pattern of the rest of the Canterbury, possessing a victorian charm not found in too many places. But being in this bathroom, I stifle the urge to vomit up my orgasmic lobster bisque because of the wretched smell of old ass. And perhaps, maybe that is what management is going for…the victorian charm of aged ass. Needless to say, it is rather difficult to fully enjoy the experience at the Canterbury because I know, for a fact, I am going to have to go to the bathroom at SOME point while dining there, and I will be unable to avoid the old ass smell.

On the other hand, when I lived on the south side of Indy, I frequented the Walmart on 31 south. Now, this was not a new Walmart; actually it was rather old and had to do renovations when they began building the Walmart Supercenters. This Walmart…was, well, like any other Walmart I suppose. The clientele was questionable (yes, I AM including myself in the generalization TYVM!), the quality of the products there was ho-hum – in fact, one could even say it was…dirty. The floor, the people, the overall appearance of the place was just…eh. Seriously, you walk in to the bathroom there, and the corners of the floor are black with dirt, there was never any toilet paper and if there was, it was balled up in the last stall clogging the last working toilet. No soap in the sinks, paper towels wet and ‘iffy’…if I was to say you would want to go in there wearing plastic gloves, I am paying them a compliment.


You walk into this filth-infested grunge house, and smell, and dear Lord it smells SO fresh and clean!!!! It absolutely astounds me how wonderful it smells in this place. I remember years ago, the first time I ever went in there, I held my nose as I walked in, did the “breathe through the mouth” thing. While taking care of business though, I accidentally smelled and I was shocked at how wonderful it smelled in there! You could actually almost say that the way the place smells beats the fact the way the place looks, as if it cancels it out…makes it ok.

I honestly think, if you walked in there blindfolded, you would have no idea how dirty the place is…and in fact, you would think it was pleasant to be in BECAUSE of the smell.

Ironically, if you were to conduct the same experiement at the Canterbury restaurant bathroom, I think you would imagine you were in the bowels of Indianapolis.
As I said, smell is a wonderful thing, in how it can affect your moods and the way you think. It can bring pain, lol, such as the smell of burnt popcorn in an elevator (some dude at work does this constantly – IT’S NOT LIKE WE CAN’T TELL DUDE!!!!) or the gal that wears the old lady mosquito repellent perfume, and you taste it whenever you walk where she had trod…or it can bring pleasure…fresh coffee brewing, the apple peach crumb tart baking in the over that I made the other day, the handsome friend of mine that sweats too much but damn but if he doesn’t smell good when he does!!!! (Sorry, I may need a moment here…)

I think presentation is everything, but it is not just things you can see. Presentation encompasses things you cannot see, but what you can smell.

Oh hell.... at least go try the orgasmic lobster bisque….


Friday, July 9, 2010

Even Cheap Ass Oil can be surprising....

One of the beautiful things about watered down, cheap ass oil that Walmart uses when they perform service on my car once every few months, is that, they don't TELL me the oil they are using. Perhaps I could ask if I wanted to, and I am sure they would tell me.

But see, I don't want to know. There is a 50/50 shot that they really ARE using cheaps ass oil, and it would confirm my fears.

They are discreet.

Discretion is one of the things I am a HUGE believer in. Ha, I know you are laughing as I sit here, writing on a PUBLIC blog about super personal things....but I NEVER mention names, except my own. It's nobody's business but mine who I come in contact with, but more than that, we all can relate to the situations I happen to vent about. And that is all it is. I don't really vent to one particular person very often, as I don't trust people. This I trust, because I set the parameters of what I want placed out here.

The photog redeemed himself, at least, gave me what I was after. Not the pictures....Oh come on, I am a redhead, it was the PRINCIPLE of the thing!!! I wanted a "You're right" - and WOO HOO, I was victorious!!!!!!!!!! LOL - go ahead, roll your eyes, BUT if we don't act on our principles and convictions, why the hell are we alive????

Along with that, he has indicated he will get me the pictures, and, actually indicated he hoped they were better then "cheap ass oil" WHICH means he is TOTALLY a fan of my blog and an avid reader of it, because he apparently read my post yesterday....I love when bad situations turn around for the good :)

Bottom line, I am turning 30 this year, one of those MILESTONE bdays...and I am amused how things still continue to surprise me...even cheap ass oil, can be surprising.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"Hey, YOU, sqeakiest wheel, here take this watered down cheap ass oil just to SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!"

So, it is very disturbing to me when people say they are going to do something, and then refuse to follow through with it.

I have had several examples over the last year of this, and I don't understand why people do this. Why do you say you are going to come to a show, for example, that you have no intention of coming to? I do recognize and appreciate things come up. DUH, it happens. But that is not really what I am talking about...

What I am referring to is when, perhaps, oh, gosh, I don't know.....say you agree to do a photoshoot with someone, for trade, and you give your time, your ideas, your body....and the person taking the pictures is supposed to give you (per their word) edited images....and 5 months later, you still don't have them...I don't know, something about that just screams, UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!! But that, perhaps is just me.

They DO say the squeakiest wheel gets the most oil...but often, it seems, the squeakiest wheel gets thrown the cheapest, lowest grade of oil, just to SHUT IT UP.

I often say I hold people at arms length, because you can't trust most people as far as you could throw them...and while MOST people ultimately attempt to be good at heart, everyone is out for their own agenda, serving themselves. And that's ok. That is human nature I suppose.

While putting up with people who don't follow through is a horrendous hassle (especially when you have been waiting 5 months for pictures they promised you) - it certainly serves as a learning experience to me, as a future "do not deal with this person".

It is sad, actually, BUT, am sure it was bound to happen, as I have been doing this almost 2 years now and NEVER up until this point, had a photog flake on me.

Talk about milestones!!! 2010 has been a GREAT year for milestones, I got broken into, had my first "unfriending" on Facebook (and I am crushed...) and had a photographer flake...

hm....the winds must be changing or something....(Twilight Zone theme plays....)


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Tales from the Dating Site - Mr. Contradiction???

"You are full of contradictions, the speaking from both sides of you mouth doesn't help prove your point. Acceptace IS key to all my problems today...You demand acceptance to whom you are, but are FAR from tolerant of who others are. Will you tell me one thing? What guys have you dated on here? Do they have any true substance and/or character?"

So this was a message I received today.

I find it to be interesting when you place yourself out in public, so to speak, BUT!!!! Hidden behind a "profile", how ballsy people are with ranting to you, about you.

This fellow sent me this message, commenting apparently on my profile. Full of What am I contradicting here big fellow?

Acceptance - I don't demand acceptance. All I say is this is the way it is. You DON'T have to accept it, anymore than you HAVE to send me a message. What I say is, this is what I like, this is what I don't like. I have lived almost 30 years and I will be damned if I don't know certain preferences by now.

Why is it any of your business what fellows I have dated from this site? What, is that going to add "fuel to your fire", to show me how "wrong I am in feeling the way I do, or liking what I like???" Come on.

Thank you sir, for giving me something to write about :)


Sunday, July 4, 2010

Pushups and Dude

OK OK, So I WAS going to put up the pc and go do something constructive, but as I sit here, at my new place, I have this ASTOUNDING view from my back door and dining room window. I look out and I see this huge lake, sparkling in the sunshine, boats at the dock, the lake surounded by weeping willow trees, and looking to the left, the swimming pool.

Nothing unusual about that, it is fuller today than I have seen it since living here for a week. Obviously, it is the 4th, so it makes sense. Kids are playing, old ladies reading, couples listening to their ipods....and a dude.

Hehehehehehe...yes, a dude. A dude has always been defined to me by some big fellow with shoulders to broad for his own good, that actually walks in a way to sway them back and forth when they walk. It is almost as if each shoulder has to cut into the oncoming air to part the way for the rest of the body...a rolling out the carpet, if you will.

Well the dude is in his lawn chair relaxing, and I took the scene in as I was sitting here writing my previous post, and thought nothing of it.

Until the dude got up.

The dude got up out of his lawn chair, and proceeded to slowly strut like a rooster around the outline of the pool, shoulder first.

Then as he returns to his chair, he does a Nestea plunge onto the concrete!!!!! WTF?!?!?!!?

First thought was he tripped and fell, but OH NO, yes, ladies and gents, we start a routine of pushups!!!!!

(I must say, this was a scene I NEVER got at the old apt pool)

He literally did 25 pushups, got back up, and sat back into his lounge. LOL

Well geez, NOW I have to sit here and watch and see what kind of routine this is....I mean, is it once an hour, once every 15 minutes, WHAT? And just on the concrete for fucks sake???? He is definitely a dude. lol

Will make sure to let you know what the routine is, and the timeframe, so you TOO, can be a dude!!!!


Tales from Dating Sites - Mr. Suit-jacket-and-jeans

So I have to reference a previous post

in which I introduced you to my profile on a dating site.

Definitely, being newly single, this has opened my eyes up to a wide variety of weirdfucks that reside in my own city. Not that I was unaware of it, more perhaps, blind to it.

So my profile has lended itself to a variety of responses...

Here are a few:

"So you are just out to get some dinner?"

"What does spongeworthy mean?"

"Why are you on a dating site if you hate men?"

And my favorite..."So you're beautiful, big deal..."

Ha, that one made me laugh outloud. I seem to receive alot of messages from fellows who are quite put off by the fact that I lay it all out there. IMAGINE - A woman who knows what she wants!!!! Well, that is not entirely true. I DON'T have it all figured out, BUT, I do know what I don't want.

Recently, I receive a message from one guy saying "I didn't scare him", but he wondered if I was really the bitch I made myself out to be. So I responded back and indicated that telling the truth isn't bitchy, it is a noble thing that most people are afraid to do.

Anyway, we make dinner plans and go to Mama Carrola's in Broad Ripple, I have never been there. So, keep in mind, I make NO excuses and put RIGHT out there, I am NOT looking for any sort of relationship. ALL I am interested in is a friendship. Dinner, hanging out, etc. (I recognize it is impossible for the male species to do that.) BUT if someone agrees they are ok with that, ok then, we have dinner.

So Mr. Suave shows up and for appearances sake, for the MOST part, he was a well groomed, put together fellow. He had dark hair and eyes (love that) and his teeth were good (another BIG plus). However, as you scroll down, sigh, guys, I just don't get the suit jacket and jeans look. It will have to be explained to me because Mr. Suave QUICKLY turned into Mr. Suit-jacket-and-jeans, and there was no going back. And the suit jacket was white. (wah wah waaaaaahhhhhh) Not a white sportcoat made out of khaki material or anything like that, but it looked like a white tux jacket. Ok so...I give points for trying BUT it IS STILL A SUIT JACKET AND JEANS!!!!!!!

I looked at his feet to see if he had on the white shoes Chevy Chase wore in 'Vacation', because had he had THOSE on, I could have forgiven him, solely for humour purposes.

And of course I am freaking out because me and white, do not go together. I see white, I get it dirty. Not my fault of course, but I just naturally attract spills and dirt, lol.

So we sit down and begin to look over the menu, and he, naturally nervous, begins making small talk, while wringing his hands and shifting his eyes back and forth. I ask if he is ok, and he indicates he will be right back....

So he leaves.

Well I order a martini, and am sitting outside on the patio, and quite honestly, it IS a lovely place, if you have never been there, (Mama Carrolas) you should go. So my drink comes, and he doesn't.

So I sip my drink, while listening to other peoples conversation ( a couple arguing about the color valance to hang in the kitchen, a foursome discussing "some shameful woman") and FINALLY, Mr Suit returns.

So he sits and we again return to looking over the menu, and I ask what he does, and then he proceeds to launch into his rehearsed speech of "what he had planned to say". It was then I notice...the lisp. Up until that point, he hadn't really said many words that involve an "S" sound, so I didn't notice it. But it was there.

Once we ordered, he began to speak again, going on and on about his work, with the lisp...and I was thinking to myself, fuck, I am going to have to order another drink just so I can listen to this...and next thing you know, mid-sentence, he excused himself again.

Upon return, before even sitting back down, he was talking about his work again...and getting his degree, and how the degree will help work, when the food came. So it was THEN I think, ok, perhaps he will pause and ask me something about myself.

RIIIIIGHT - in between mouthfuls of alfredo (smart getting alfredo, it won't stain the suit jacket), he continued to discuss work, and lisping.

All in all, the best part of the evening was the ambience and the actual dinner (I had some sort of seafood lingiune which was worth selling my left ovary for). Well, and I guess I DID gather some "takeaway" items for myself...

1. I still stand behind a suit jacket and jeans is NEVER a good look.

2. A WHITE suit jacket and jeans is only good if you have white patent leather shoes to match

3. I find it brutally difficult to listen to a lisp, yes, I am shallow, but we all have our things, ok? If I had to listen to that day in, day out, I would kill myself I think

4. Talking solely about yourself constantly does not make for good conversation

5. Talking solely about yourself, with a lisp, does not make for great conversation.

6. Yes, I am overlooking the 'excusing to go to the bathroom'...small bladders...or...whatEVER you are doing in none of MY business...

So ultimately, it was not a loss, AND I have decided actually to look on ebay I think, for a pair of white patent leather shoes...for the next guy, just in case, you know...


Friday, July 2, 2010

Sweatpants make me feel like shit

In talking with a friend today, we were discussing a recent picture we saw of a gal we know, and how strikingly different she looked now, compared to then.

In her picture, she was spirited, lively, beautiful...and now, not so much.

This has baffled me for years. The thought of "letting yourself go". My mom, for one, was an example I studied firsthand. She was never one to get dolled up everyday, that just wasn't her style. But as the years went on, as I was growing up, I noticed more and more of a dejected "giving up". Once I got married and left the nest, she rarely left the house, as she didn't work, and when she did, it was typically in scrubby pants and some oversized, gross shirt she just threw on. Combing the hair was merely running fingers through it and makeup was a never, unless she was heading out to an Amway meeting with dad.

Not to say I wasn't surprised when she called to tell me my dad was leaving her, but I must admit, if I was out busting my ass all day working and I came home to someone who was in the same dingy pj's as when I left in the morning, it wouldn't make me wanna rush right home either. Naturally, they had alot of issues that are between them, and none of my business, but, it does still stick out in my head...would he have stayed if she carried herself the same way she did when they first met? If she had still taken care of herself the same?

With all of this being said, I'm not overlooking the fact that women have a load to, school, kids, housekeeping, money, etc....the list goes on and on. that what does it? Or is it more that getting "dolled up" and presentable is not 'natural' for some of us, and we only do it to "get a man" or "keep a man" which case, once the "I do's" are said, the gloves come off and so does the makeup, the feminine mystique, and the glorious things that attracted that fellow to begin with???

At any rate, I am not indicating that one is better than the other, more...asking the question why does it happen? Where is that one incident, or that switch that turns in the head that causes the downward slope?

As far as not indicating one is better than the other, we all live with the scars we choose (Sugarland). Myself, you will find to be on the opposite end of the spectrum. And I will be the first to tell you that I will not go out of the house without makeup or being remotely put together unless there are excruciating circumstances. I actually get chastised for this, now, and even did when I was younger.

Looking at it, from an outsider in, I think in seeing my mom's spiral downhill, and being so close to it, caused a "what I don't want to be" to happen inside. And so now, I make it a point to be presentable...not for others, mind you, but for myself. If I look in the mirror and I look like hell, I stay in. I am a woman, and love to feel like a woman, and wear pretty womanly things, and look fabulous, like women should look....because *I* like it. Because I like the way it looks and the way it makes me feel. When I am sitting around all day in sweatpants, I feel like I have been sitting around all day in sweatpants and I feel like shit.

I am ok with the fact I have been called shallow for this. In fact, I got into a Facebook posting spat with a woman who indicated the fact that "all I cared about was how I looked was a poor example of how a woman should be; there was more to life to think about".

I disagree. Life is so drastically dark, and hard, and tiresome...why CAN'T we focus on something beautiful? When there is so much bullshit in our everyday lives, the one saving grace, the "pick me up", so to speak, is the fellow whom I pass in the hall at work, whose face lights up when he sees me and says, "You look like a million bucks today!" - and I know that I made his day, and he just made mine. That isn't shallow, that is spreading JOY sister!!!!

(oh and, as I am writing this, I am sitting in yoga pants with no makeup figure that one out)


I'm BACK baby!!!!!!!

So...welcome back to Redheads do it Better....starring the RedHOThead herself, Moi.

I bet you missed me didn't you? I have JUST gotten back online after a 2 month hiatus from those motherfuckers that stole my shit!!!!! Grrrrrr

Don't worry, I am not dwelling on it :)

I have MOVED on, literally.

So ladies and gents, I have ALOT of catching up to do. I have a LOT of issues and grievances to bring to light and so I hope you come along on this ride with me.

Sadly, I have to run. I have to go get prepped for a shoot tomorrow in northern Indiana with the fab Lori Benoit. But! Perhaps I will be back later, darlings.