Saturday, May 28, 2011

Busting out of the garage


How do you get ahead? How do you keep plugging away, doing "all the right things", with the hopes of someone eventually realizing your potential, and get ahead?

What do you do when you are told that you, in all angles, are a "Wow"...but yet you are continually looked over, rejected, and assumably held back?

You are a car. You have the wheels, the energy of a brand new Mustang, the inner workings of an internal electrical system that is stellar, an engine that has not been run into the ground with burn out or wear and even have the full tank of gas and the ability to find more for whatever 'journey' or task you need to accomplish. You sit there, in the garage, doing all the things you are instructed to do, being told, "keep doing what you are doing, you are an AWESOME car!!!! I am SO glad you are in MY garage!!!!" But when you say, "Hey, wave the green flag, I am ready for the ride!!!"
You get told, "You are a WOW car! Impressive! Your abilities outshine so many others!! But, you ARE just a car, after all."

My second car ever was a Ford Taurus that was my grandma's. She bought it brand new, and it was a great car. She had it for 3 years before I got it. So essentially, it was 3 years old. She drove this thing to church on Sundays, to the store, and to the doctor. That's it. It sat in the garage the rest of the time. Hardly any miles. Hardly any wear and tear.
I was excited when I got this car because to me, it was practically new! SHE NEVER DROVE IT! I was excited thinking of how little I was going to have to deal with regarding maintenance and I wouldnt have to worry about it not being was practically new!

That car had more issues than I can remember. I recall my dad explaining it by saying that the car just sat most of the time. It did what was asked routinely, but nothing else. So when I got it, and began to use it regularly, and challenge it - the car gave me a burnt out, exhausted, "Fuck you", and would die. As a rule, the cars potential was never unlocked when my grandma had it. And so it burned out.

So what's the key? Sit in the garage revving your engine, HOPING someone will see that while sitting there, you do that so well, but you really perform at your best when you are let out of the garage????? Or do you turn into a Stephen King's 'Christine', and bust out, scaring the shit out of everyone in your way?

Getting ahead in life, love, career, whatever, you must bust out. Before your fire burns out.


Saturday, May 14, 2011

I'm a nerd


I know you get to points in your life, defining moments, where you learn alot about yourself. This does happen on a daily basis, but I am referring to these outstanding moments where you go, Wow - that's interesting.

I have been in school now for 2 years, initially starting out to take a few classes here and there to see what I like, and what I don't. I did not go to college right out of school. I worked, I got married, I had a kid. So the opportunity to be able to do this, on my decision, and because I want to is a liberating thing.

Along with that, being able to dabble, and take a class just to see if I like it and want to pursue more classes like that has been an interesting journey. I originally was taking marketing classes, event management classes, because I am good, extremely good at that, and I thought that was an area I wanted to get a degree in. I did well - because as i said, I am good at it.

Last spring, I took an event class, and a microeconomics class, because they were required if I was going to major in this event marketing/management class. I second guessed myself when i signed up for them because both of these classes were more about the numbers (economics clearly) - but the event class was not so much about planning and executing the class, but more about the numbers. I am not good with numbers. Never have been. Math really does my head in and makes it spin. I am math stupid, and I am ok with that. It takes alot of brain work for me to "get" math concepts, so much so, that I have to call on friends for help when my lil man (4th grade) has math homework (especially story problems) because there is a disconnect in my head. I am ok with that.

I got a D in the event class and an F in the econ class. It was my worst and best moment, actually. It clearly illustrated to me at that point that - perhaps, although I am really good at marketing, at, event planning, etc, perhaps that is not the area of school i want to focus on as far as a degree. What I am extremely good at, is the relationship building. The people skills. The creativity. Not the numbers or the statistics that go into it.

Last fall I took a literature class and LOVED it. Fell head over heels in love. Aced the class. I love literature. I love writing. I love being able to develop relationships through the feelings you read.

I decided this spring to major in English with a writing concentration. I had a good friend question the decision, because clearly I am so good at the marketing piece, and could really do something with that. True. I could.

But I don't want my choice to go to school to be about a 'have to' - that I have to take these bullshit business classes in order to be great. Life is too short. If I am going to spend the money, time, brainpower on school, it is going to be on something I am passionate about. My life is not about working for 50+ years doing something I 'kind -of' enjoy. My life is about pursuing things I am passionate about.

I have thought about the answer of, well, what are you going to do with an English degree? I don't know. I don't really care. I already have a job. So I am not in a huge hurry to finish school to "get started" on a career. Right now I am loving the learning.

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

So my point is, my gpa went WAY down obviously, due to the D and F. After this spring semester where I got excellent grades, it has raised a bit, and will continue to go up. Sometimes you do have to get hit hard with something in order to see that that is not the path you should be taking.