Sunday, May 2, 2010

My p*nis itches!?!!?!?!?!?


I never wanted to be a mom. There. I said it, will say it again. I never wanted to be a mom. There was a time that after I got married, and got the "first place", a child was "naturally" what was supposed to come next. I have never had that maternal instinct....but, I felt that rush of the biological clock ticking, so that was what I was to do. Produce.

The 'lil man' was an oops. Wasn't planned. Was a surprise. After all the 'normal' mishaps and happenings you have with raising a baby boy, they soon begin to lose the "baby-ness" and turn into boys.

And I love it - any of the uncertainties I have had about myself as a mother cease when I am in the car with the lil man and he busts out with his rendition of "Baby Got Back"...and I look at him in the rearview mirror grinning from ear to ear as he car dances (like his mama) to the tune.

The 'boyness' of my son becomes more realized when he makes "manly" discoveries.

We were in the car about 2 years ago, he was 6, and he was quietly sitting in the back seat. We drive over some railroad tracks and all of a sudden, he is giggling uncontrollably - enough to make me laugh aloud. I ask him what is so funny and he goes, "Well mommy it tickles!!!!!"

Ok, I'll bite. What tickles?

He says through his laughter, "The railroad tracks tickles my penis Mommy!!!!!"

LMAO!!!! I snorted. Could not help it. The discovery of the penis is a phenomenon to most humans. Men never seem to get over the discovery. There are many names for the object. I, for one, am a die hard "real namer" when it comes to my child. He knows he has a penis, he knows thats what its called. Of course that can lead to the occaisional supermarket line commentary when the lil man will announce, "Geez Mommy!!! My penis itches!!!!"

Tonight, we are sitting on the floor, playing an exciting game of Monopoly, and all of a sudden, he jumps up and says, "MOMMY! Hang on!!!!"

"Ok," I say, "you need to use the bathroom?"

"No WAY!!! My penis has attached itself to something and I have to go pull it off!!!!"

Um....I got nothing

No, I did not ask what it attached to (since there was nothing surrounding him, and nothing he was hanging on to) and I do think that SOME just don't want to know.


~Lisa Marie

No comments:

Post a Comment