Sunday I FINALLY nailed down and chose the new place of residence, after the...um..."TV Chronicles" that happened in my ghetto apartment.
I find it interesting. When I was a kid, I never knew we were poor. I mean, my mom was a respitory therapist, my dad was in the army...we usually had food on the table, clothes to wear. Although there were many nights when mom and dad would leave for a meeting (Amway meeting - whole other blog in itself), dad would say, well eat some cereal or some ramen noodles or something. I actually learned to cook by figuring out all the magnificent things I could do with a can of new potatoes.
And let me tell you, I can make some MEAN skillet potatoes, buddy :)
But I don't, or rather, I never considered us to be lacking of needs. Sure, a lack of wants. But we lived on a quiet street, nice house, it was clean....
It was only years later, of recent, actually, and 'grown-up' conversation with my dad I find out that most of the time, we had no money, and they were panicked where the next meal was going to come from.
When I moved to these apartments (Lakeside Pointe at Nora) last year, I have to admit, I was looking for a few things:
1. Big patio (I love to be outside and sit outside, and while I don't like to cut grass, I do enjoy flower gardening and planting)
2. Affordable (I was newly on my own, with a lil man to look after, and not sure of all the expenses and bills I was going to be taking on, so I had to be economical)
3. Location (I wanted a decent school for the lil man, but I wanted to be near my friends. I have no family here. My friends are the closest thing I have, and calling Snobby Princess to come cry with me at midnight is an easier drive from Carmel to 90th and College than to the southside of Indy)
My dad always said "Love wears rose colored glasses" and I really never knew what that meant.
I think over this year, I have found out.
Initially, when I looked into these apartments, I knew they were not the best. I knew there would be potential issues, but hey, that is what you get when you choose to live in a apartment community. I was not naive to that. I, however, WAS naive to what exact issues I would face living here.
*the 2 months of fleas I endured from the previous renter because she kept her 2 dogs in what was now MY bedroom
*the disgusting roach problem that I SWEAR, the people next to me were breeding these fuckers to shishkebab for dinner
*the toilet that never seemed to stop leaking, and the one morning I was planning to have a quiet, easy morning in bed, turned into getting a life jacket and canoe to swim out of the river of feces and piss that had made its way down my hall ...
*the neighbors on the left side of me, where I believe there are 21 people inhabiting a 2 bedroom apartment, no bigger than mine, and have some sort of mariachi band practice every night...and when I knock on the door at 11pm, and the 7 year old opens the door...it is disturbing because, (A) - a 7 year old is opening the door at 11pm at night and (B) - this child is the only one in the house who understands me
*the neighbors on the right side of me, yes, the ones with the roach shishkebabs, who always, ALWAYS are cooking something outside on some electric skillet, on a table that sits under their window on the patio. And you never see them come outside to cook it, always a hand is reaching through the screen they have ripped off the window to stir...whatever it is in that pan
*the neighbors above me who have 4 children and seem to get extreme pleasure from running/stomping back and forth across the floor, repeatedly...
*the people that have no respect for where they live or others property, in that, as they walk by the patios on the sidewalk, it is nothing for them to just carelessly toss their trash into my patio, or on the ground, or wherever they see fit...
Any one of these issues in itself, can be dealt with. Having them all slammed down on top of you, definitely puts you into a state of "this sucks, you have to get out" - however, you are also faced with, UGH moving AGAIN...ok its not so bad, just grin and bear it.
Not to MENTION the recent TV Chronicles. That was the last straw. When a lil man won't sleep in his own bed anymore and I cannot in good conscience, make him, because I know WHY he doesn't want to....it is time to realize, that while the area (Nora) may not be the ghetto, the actual complex you live in is.
And I must say, it isn't the management. Most everytime I had an issue, they were very quick to rectify the issue (except for the flooding, but it all got worked out).
However, as I have found a new place, and decided to move, I am already bringing boxes home and packing up, and undoing all I have worked to do over the last year. I am sad, to a point. I painted, I made this place mine, as best I could. It hurts when you are forced to let go of something you worked on, your sweat, your stress, and have to start over. Regardless if the start over is going to be better.
On the other hand, I have an appreciation for the fact that life is like that. It really is one big choose your own adventure book (I used to LOVE those!) and sometimes you really do have to go all the way back to the beginning and start over, because the last path you took was wrong, and now you have to start over to really get anywhere.
I must admit, I was a tad panicked about all of this and was sharing my panic about starting over with a dear friend of mine. (I value our friendship because he can very easily assist in putting things into perspective for me. I am often all over the place when I get stressed and he seems to have this rather logical way of saying, "but look at THIS!") (He also has a REALLY annoying trait of looking on the brightside of everything, which I always try to maintain a positive outlook in general, so when he lashes out with, "Well you may have roaches but at least you have a HOUSE to have roaches IN!!!" - I just want to strangle him. I call him Mr. Brightside)
So I was sharing my panic about starting over with Mr. Brightside, and he goes, "Do you anticipate painting when you move? Or do you plan to leave it all white?"
Well of course I am going to paint, I cannot live in a place that I cannot make into a home.
So he says,"Then you are going to do it anyway. That is your nature. Your only other option is to leave it all white and clinical feeling, and that way in a year, or 5 years, IF you have to move again, you won't have put all the work into it. But you can't do that. That is one of the things you enjoy"
Ugh, I hate when people get me :)
So yes. I am moving at the end of June to a FAB new place, still close by. But a much bigger apartment. Across the street is the tennis courts, swimming pool (with a lifeguard!), basketball court, volleyball, etc...oh and the place has secured, gated access. (SHWING!)
The more I pack into a box, the more I am actually looking forward to closing this chapter of this year of my life, and getting another chance to start over. Very few of us do get to start over, as much as we would often like to. I am thankful for this.
But just in case, I am bringing my own shishkebab sticks with me...