Thursday, August 19, 2010

Redheads List of Hates and Pissy Issues - for today

*Nose-whistlers (male or female, if you cannot breathe without whistling dixie through your nose, you should breathe through your mouth)

*Mouth Breathers (I hate smelling your dry, stale breath. I hate hearing your inhale and, usually panting, exhale...and quite honestly, as I sit and talk to you, I am visualizing what it might be like to put duct tape over your lips.)

*One sided conversations (Droning on and on about all your shit as I listen patiently and intently, and then don't even bother to ask me, "So, what's new")

*Constant dry mouth (The sound you make as you smack your dry lips together is brutal. I want to drown your face in water or hold your head under in the pool)

*Lime Gushers (Ate one as I am writing this, and it is the nastiest gummy fruit snack ever - It was like bitter, citrus flavored butt-funk that squirts. Ew)

*Suit jacket with jeans (This is an obvious one, as I have spoke on the subject before. I refer to the real SUIT, suit jacket. Not a good look. Hate it.)

*Laundry (Would rather stick a fork in my eye)

*Know it all kids that never shut the hell up (Like this lil girl at the bus stop. She is a cutie, and nice, but HELL!!!! She never shuts up and asks me questions and then tells ME the answers - argh!)

*Headaches that keep me up all night and do not allow me to sleep.

*People who have no respect for personal space (Most people need like a 3 foot circumference around them. DO NOT fucking invade that 3 foot space!!!!)

*Headaches that come on out of the blue and feel like someone is stabbing me in the head.

*Hiccups (because mine are really loud and obknoxious)

*Verbal ticks

*Being overlooked or treated as a "second choice" - consolation prize


*When the thong rides further up your ass than it is supposed to

*When people say things such as, "Oh I should have gotten you that" or "I was going to get that for you" (UM - ok, if you aren't going to get it, don't TELL me you should have or were going to. I must say, in this situation, not so sure its the thought that counts.)

*Insanely big front teeth (teeth can be a deal breaker)

*When people who forget their own name question my memory skills


*Assumptions of my time (Such as in my time is not valuable and I have nothing better to do than to cater to or wait around)

*Watered down fudgsicles (I dont understand how these are made. I have attempted to melt a real fudgsicle and mix it with water and refreeze, to see if it tastes the same....but doesn't)

*Shifty eyes (Look me in the eye when you talk dammit! Don't look to the right or the left as though you are trying to find an escape. If you feel that way, hit the door asshole. ALSO, if you are checking out the other "scenery" fucking hit the door too. If I am not important enough for you to focus all your attention on when you are with me, your ass doesn't deserve me)

*Library morons (Why do you walk up to the self-service check out and then wait for a librarian to help you!?!?!?!??!?!??!?! FUCK YOU)

*The fucking yappy dog next door (Whenever I come home and put my key in the door, I almost piss myself when that damn yapper starts barking)

Ok - that's all for today


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