Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Pit Stains and Mail Order Catalogs


I have been here at the new place for about 2 months and I love it. Love everything about it so far. It's bigger, cleaner, quieter, good location....and the small things, like, even though I HATE laundry, I love the fact I have a washer and dryer right here in my building. Conveinence is a beautiful thing.

At my old place, my mailbox was broken, and spent most of the time wide open. Sadly, none of my bills were ever stolen, just my junk mail. The catalogs which, I never buy from or even INTEND to buy from, but I enjoy looking at. Now, I never ordered these catalogs, they were just delivered to me because the person before me got them, and the person who lived there before the person who lived there before me got they were mine. These were taken. Usually it was the Aldi's paper, and the Walmart ads, I think I even got a Burmese catalog (if you knew where I lived, this will make sense to you). SO those were always taken, stolen from my mailbox.

Here at the new place, one of the things I notice is a better quality of catalogs. None come to me of course, but all of the catalogs (because they are too big to fit into the mail boxes) get shoved into a large communal space under our boxes. There is Indianapolis Monthly, and Chicos, various boutiques in Carmel, etc...It's catalog Xanadu!!!!

So if you are saying to yourself, Lisa, are you stealing your neighbors magazines???? In a word, yes. But JUST did it one time. Today. IDK, maybe I was on a karate high when I got home, but I was grabbing anything in a karate chop arm's reach!

I am looking at the Chico's catalog...again, would never order from there, have never shopped there...but I open to page one, and actually see something that kind of confirms for me why I would never order or shop there.

First page is a model wearing a "Crisp Buttondown" white shirt. A dress shirt. A plain, white button up shirt.

Hm. Ok fine.



Now let me back up here a second. I don't buy white shirts. I don't wear white in general because anything I wear that is white, will MOST likely be stained before the day is out. I don't wear white shirts, UNLESS they are brand new, and then, I can only wear them like 2 times before I develop that gross "7th grade fat sweaty math teacher pit stains" under the arms. I am not really sure of the phenomenon here. I wear a tank top, I get pit stains. I wear a t-shirt, I get pit stains...I wear a loose fitting shirt, I get pit stains. BUT only with white shirts. I have other light colored shirts this does not happen to!!!

So what happens then with the wardrobe, is those shirts I wore out on their own, sadly become something I only let out of the closet when I have a suit jacket or sweater on over. They get moved to the back of the closet, not allowed out to play much any longer.

Eventually, they become workout shirts, and you can imagine if I am in the weight room lifting weights, arms up over my head with these big, grotesque pit stains, how many "looks" I am getting they finally succumb to being cleaning shirts around the house. Poor things. Their life span is only like, 2 months TOPS.

I am thinking of all of these things as I am looking at this $69 white button up shirt going, why the hell would I spend $69 dollars for fucking PIT STAINS?????

I swear, I MUST be the only person with this issue, because they sell the shit out of those shirts.

Well, I guess that is one "classic" fashion look I will have to forego.

I just can't spend $69 dollars on pit stains...


No comments:

Post a Comment