Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Duck and cover

So last night,

At the grocery store, after the day job, running a tad behind because I need to get to rehearsal for Harvey, IN the frozen foods (promise I am not being cliche)...I hear a "Oh you grocery shop too?" (the Jamaican accent was unmistakeable, I knew who this was...damn...)

My instant (IGNORE BUTTON) radar went off in my head as I continued to peruse the Bertoli pasta. No good, this one is persistent, we have met before.

Him - "Ahhhh, excuse me? You grocery shop too??? Ha-looooo?????" (UGH fuckitalltohell)

Me - "Oh? Oh HI! How are you? Sorry, didn't know you were talking to me (lie). Yes, I do. Just picking up a few things for me and my son. Actually just got off work, running behind, have rehearsal"

Him - "Oh uh, yes, so when we go out?"

Me - "Oh, well, like I have told you before, I have my son Sunday night through Thursday night, and so I don't have alot of time for going out and doing things. Like I have told you before, my friends don't even get alot of my time, let alone, almost strangers."

Him - "Ah yes, you just no like me"

Me - (for God's sake, how many fucking egos do I have to be forced to stroke today HUH?!?!?!?!?) "You know, like I told you before, MY being busy has nothing to do with you. I have work, then rehearsals, I have photoshoots, I have my son, I go to school...etc etc. It is not a reflection on you, I just like to do alot of things and do not have time."

Him - "Well I want call you. we can talk."

Me - (ha, yeah cause that's gonna happen) "Well again, I don't have much time to just sit around and talk."

Him - "Ok, I will come by sometime and see if I see you"

SHIT it all. This, being the weirdo who lives in my apt complex who was out walking along the sidewalk last year when I moved in, and apparently saw me working on my patio, and I MUST have forgotten to take down the "Please, come fucking talk to ME!!!!!" sign, and so he stopped to lean over my fence. Guess I look more chatable with my gardening gloves on...

Every day last summer, he would walk by, numerous times to chat me up. I only know becasue HE TOLD ME SO. I was not there, I was busy, doing....my life. But if I did happen to be there, after the first few days he did that, I learned to keep a watch and dart inside!

Yes, mean. Yes, pathetic. But when I have told you I have no interest, and you continue to chat me up...me running for cover inside is NOT code for, TRY HARDER, GODDAMNIT.

So it seems, based on last night's frozen foods escapades, I can look forward to another summer of playing 'duck and cover'...


  1. Tell him you have a boyfriend and he will stop it.

  2. ...also, tell him you have your son all the time now too - anything to get him to give up the pursuit.

  3. Yeah, tried both Scott...oy vey...

  4. LOL I can just picture this!