A friend sent me a text the other day.
“Some men suck…but I am sincerely hoping there are some out there that don’t”.
I have thought about this statement for a few days, and in classic redhead-fashion, perhaps I am overthinking it, but I have come up with some additives to elaborate on what I find to be a gem of knowledge from a very smart woman.
1. “Some men suck” – This is true of anything. Some people suck, some experiences suck, some jobs suck, some meals suck, some events suck, some plays suck, some movies suck…you get the idea. Recognizing what is, and seeing something as it is, and not as we would wish it to be is a key element in coming to know and understand you. Being able to say to yourself, “I know THIS about myself, and I cannot handle THIS” is a big deal.
2. “Sincerely hoping” – I am grateful that I have hope. I have come in contact with many people who do not possess the ability to look on the bright side of things. When you do not hope and expect the best, life is going to give you exactly what you ask for. The ability to express a continued hope even when you have been handed a pile of shit takes strength that cannot be measured.
3. “There are some out there that don’t” – Just because something is not in front of you at the present time does not mean that you are not worthy of it, or don’t deserve it. The relationships I have had with men in my life have had good and bad aspects. Each has ultimately come to a point where the bad has outweighed the good, and I recognized that “I know THIS about myself, and I cannot handle THIS”. I don’t fault those men. I really don’t. I fault the circumstances. Who are we to say that if the circumstances weren’t different, decisions and actions may have been different as well? All we know is what we know. We all make decisions based on the information we have at the present time.
At the end of the day, one can wallow in self-pity, feeling sorry for what they don’t have – or we can choose to admit the truth, have hope, and move on.