Monday, December 27, 2010

Second chances

As much as I hate to say it, we are all like puppy dogs. Or like children. My mom enjoys telling me that when I was a child (2 or 3), I would try to touch something on the table that I wasn't supposed to. She would smack my hand.

I would touch it again.

Hand smacked.

I would touch it again.

Hand smack. (by this time I was crying and pissed)

I took one finger and stuck it as CLOSE as i could get to the object, and glare up at her like "What now, huh????"

Even WORSE hand smack.

LOL - that is the story of my life. Not only mine, but many. We are stubborn, hard to learn.

But early on, parents begin a cultivation of how we act, how we react, behaviors....sometimes it isn't a "make a mistake and you learn from it". I repeat my mistakes. It was bred in my bone, based on the above story. I have always been that way.

Realizing things about yourself is a gift. Every day is a growing process. What I was yesterday, I decide to be no longer.

The people in our lives that choose to stick out the ride with us, when we are at our best, when we are at our worst...when we make them feel like shit (on purpose), when we become so self-absorbed in our own misery we want to drag everyone down with us (because if *I* feel like shit, everyone else has to as well!)...these people don't get an award. There is no medal of honor.

All there is, is gratefulness and humility.

I grew up reading the Bible - I actually enjoy reading it. One of my favorite stories is when someone asks Jesus how often we should forgive. And he answers not 7 times but 70 times 7. Lol, it is funny, but the story never seemed to really hit home with me when I was the one who had been wronged. I always seem to put up "what-if's" - like, well what if this person did this and what about this....How interesting when the shoe is on the other foot that I see the worth of that.

Every day is a learning process, and everyday we wake up, we are given a second chance. We all take it for granted. We look at the people in our lives, and sweat over the small stuff and make big deals out of shit that doesn't matter. When all we have is today. I had forgotten that.

Yesterday is gone and we aren't promised tomorrow. Live for today.

It doesn't matter what 2 years from now brings - tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Worry about today.
Who you love today, who you are thankful for today...

Yes, I know. I know that about right now, we should all be grasping hands and launching into a rendition of Kumbayah....

But I am grateful - and I am happy :)